I have long been a fan of J Crew Catalogs. I love their use of popping color, layering, and effortless hair and makeup. J Crew fit is a whole different issue, but catalogs and model choice, I always agree with.
That is, until I received the latest catalog in the mail. I hate to be a hater, but whoever styled that issue needs to be FIRED. Here’s a little sample, which instantly gave me a sour stomach:
What is this? The watermelon socks with red shoes, peach shirt and hot pink lips? Reminds me of a period. So disgusting.
Could it get any worse? Color blocking meets Camp Storer? I swear my mom bought me a poncho like this for rainwear at camp, and even in 6th grade I knew better than to wear it. Especially with those disgusting jeans and pumps. Sesame Street would be proud. And no, I don’t want your style tip cause this looks like garbage!
This hair is not chic. This is bedhead gone wrong. Something About Mary meets my Grandpa Dzienny’s combover after a windy boat ride. Poor model. She looks ridiculous.
This look is perfect for the Mud Olympics. What are these striped track pants? And why the brown baseball cap? With patent shoes? Clearly, I’m confused.
Can someone please explain this Dr. Grey sweater and scrubs combo? Can someone also explain why anyone would pay $125 for green drawstring track pants? I’m worried for you J Crew.
I think I’ll dress like a giant bruise today. Can anyone find me a full on turquoise ensemble? Oh no problem! You can find it at J Crew for only $376 dollars! I only weigh 90 pounds, but with this snazzy ensemble I can look like I’ve gained 4o lbs instantly!
Last but not least….I’m feeling spicy today, I think I’ll wear my leopard body suit with trench coat and ill fitting pleather belt and pumps to the office. What is this? Like, I’m speechless.
Sorry for all this hatred J Crew, but don’t mess up like this again.